10 tips for dating someone new during the holidays
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Dating someone new during the holidays can be complicated. Luckily, these 10 tips can help you navigate the joys and challenges of new relationships during this festive time.
Dating someone new during the holiday season can feel like walking a fine line between excitement and uncertainty. On one hand, it’s a magical time filled with festive lights, cozy evenings, and plenty of reasons to celebrate. On the other hand, the holidays bring their own set of challenges like busy schedules, family commitments, and high expectations that can add pressure to a budding relationship.
If you find yourself in a new-ish relationship during this time of year and are navigating this phase, it’s normal to feel unsure about what’s appropriate or how to handle certain situations. You may be wondering if it’s too soon to exchange gifts or if you should invite them to your family’s holiday dinner — the list goes on and on! The good news is that with a bit of thoughtfulness and clear communication, this time of year can become an opportunity to grow closer with your new boo and create special memories.
Whether you’re attending holiday parties together, deciding on thoughtful gifts, or balancing your personal traditions with time together, we’ll help you find ways to make this festive time both enjoyable and stress-free… well, almost.
What are the challenges of dating someone new during the holidays?
Starting a new relationship during the holidays can be a whirlwind of excitement and emotions. The season is full of opportunities to connect, but it also comes with unique challenges that may leave you feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Facing these challenges doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Instead, it’s about recognizing them as opportunities to grow closer, communicate openly, and set boundaries that work for both of you. With some understanding and mutual support, the holiday season can become a meaningful time to strengthen your connection and enjoy each other’s company in the midst of the festive chaos.
Here’s a closer look at some of the most common hurdles at the holidays
Jam-packed holiday social calendars
The holiday calendar can quickly fill up with parties, family dinners, and other festive events. And figuring out where your new relationship fits into all of this can be tricky. Should you invite them to your office party? Are they expecting to bring you to their friend’s annual holiday gathering? It’s easy to feel torn between wanting to include them and wondering if it’s too soon to bring them to these events that can feel quite exclusive.
To buy a gift, or not to buy a gift
Choosing the right gift in a new relationship is its own art form, especially if it’s you or your partner’s love language. You want something thoughtful that shows you care, but you don’t want to go overboard and make them feel uncomfortable. On the flip side, there’s also the stress of receiving a gift. What if it feels too personal, or, conversely, too impersonal? It’s a delicate balance that can leave you second-guessing your every move.
Is this the time to introduce them to my family?
For many people, the holidays include a lot of family time. Deciding whether to introduce your new partner to your family is a big question and can feel impossible to answer. If you’ve only just started dating, this step might feel rushed, but skipping it can also seem like you’re not taking the relationship seriously. It’s a tough call, especially if family traditions are important to you.
Celebrating each other’s traditions
Holidays mean different things to different people. While one person might be used to an elaborate Christmas dinner with extended family, another might prefer a quiet evening at home with a few friends. These differences can create some tension, especially if one partner feels pressured to adapt quickly to unfamiliar traditions.
Balancing time to include one another
Balancing the demands of a busy holiday season with the effort it takes to nurture a new relationship can be exhausting. Between work obligations, personal commitments, and holiday events, carving out quality time for your partner might start to feel like a juggling act. This can leave both of you feeling neglected or stretched too thin.
Carrying the emotional weight the season may bring
The holidays often come with emotional baggage and lots and lots of grief. If either of you have had difficult experiences in past holiday seasons, such as breakups, family tensions, or personal losses, these feelings can resurface, making the season more complicated.
10 mindful tips for navigating a new relationship during the holidays
The holiday season can feel like a delicate balancing act when you’re in a new relationship. Between managing expectations and blending your lives, it’s easy to feel unsure about what’s “right.” The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach — but being mindful and intentional with one another can make a big difference.
By keeping these tips for navigating a new connection during the holidays in mind, you can walk through this season with a bit more ease. It’s not about doing everything perfectly — it’s about being thoughtful and creating space for your relationship to grow during this festive time.
1. Communicate openly with each other about expectations
Honest communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, especially during the holidays. Talk about your plans, traditions, and how you’re feeling about the season. If something is weighing on your mind—whether it’s how to divide your time or whether to exchange gifts—don’t hesitate to bring it up. Open conversations can prevent misunderstandings and ensure you’re both on the same page.
💙 Learn to practice Kind Communication in your relationships in this guided exercise with Tamara Levitt.
2. Set boundaries around the holidays sooner than later
It’s easy to feel pulled in so many directions during the holidays. To avoid overcommitting, agree on boundaries as a couple. This might mean deciding which events to attend together or how to approach family introductions if those are taking place.
Remember, it’s perfectly okay to say no (here are 30 ways to say no nicely) if something feels too soon or overwhelming, like saying no to a weekend getaway or several plans in a row.
3. Make intentional, non-negotiable plans together
The holidays are a busy time, but carving out intentional time with your partner is crucial. Whether it’s a cozy night in with take-out watching holiday movies or a night out grabbing dinner and picking out a Christmas tree, these moments can help strengthen your bond and create traditions between the two of you. Planning together also shows that you’re prioritizing each other, despite the chaos and the stress.
4. Align on your gift-giving strategy
Gift-giving doesn’t have to be stressful — seriously, it doesn’t! Focus on something small but meaningful, like a book they’ve mentioned wanting to read, a favorite snack, or a heartfelt note.
It’s not about the price of the gift but the thought behind it. If you’re truly unsure of what to give your partner, talk about gift-giving (and receiving) expectations ahead of time to avoid any awkwardness.
5. Respect each other’s traditions and hold space to create new ones
Holidays are deeply personal, and traditions often carry a lot of meaning. Take time to learn about your partner’s holiday traditions, share your own, and create new ones between the two of you.
If you’re comfortable and it feels appropriate, participate in each other’s celebrations, like attending Christmas Eve mass or celebrating Hanukkah. But don’t feel pressured to dive in all at once. A little curiosity and respect can go a long way in building understanding around your partner’s customs and even sharing your own.
6. Stay grounded in reality to avoid comparison
It’s easy to get caught up in the romanticized version of the holidays we see in movies and on social media. But, it’s important to remember that real life isn’t perfect, and that’s okay. Manage your expectations by focusing on the connection you’re building with your partner rather than trying to create a picture-perfect holiday experience. Staying grounded in the present (and in reality) can make a huge difference.
7. Make space for self-care when you need it
The holiday hustle can be draining, so don’t forget to look after yourself as often as you need. You can also encourage your partner to do the same. A bit of downtime, whether shared together or indulged in separately, can keep stress from creeping into your relationship.
Try squeezing in a walk when you feel overwhelmed, meditating when you need some peace, or simply taking a nap when you feel drained. Self-care (try these 20 practices) can look like anything you need at the time. Give yourself permission to receive it.
💙 Listen to our Midday Relaxation Playlist for the perfect accompaniment to a mindful walk, meditation session, or afternoon rest.
8. Stay flexible and adapt to changing plans
Plans change a lot during the holiday season, and that’s normal. Approach holiday schedules with flexibility and patience. If something doesn’t work out as planned, try to roll with it instead of letting it ruin your mood. Adaptability will help both you and your partner enjoy the season more. And, who knows, maybe you can even look back on the snafus and laugh about them later.
9. Avoid saying “Yes” to everything
It’s tempting to say you’ll attend every party, family dinner, or holiday outing during this time of year, because they really do sound fun, and you don’t want to let anyone down. But overcommitting can leave both you and your partner exhausted.
Choose a few meaningful events to attend together and don’t feel guilty about skipping others. Follow these 10 tips on how to stop being a people pleaser (they’ll come in handy this season, trust us).
10. Practice mindfulness as often as you need
Mindfulness helps you stay present, which is especially helpful during busy and emotional times of the year. Focus on the moments you’re sharing together, whether it’s decorating cookies, laughing at a cheesy holiday movie, or enjoying a quiet meal after a long day. Being fully present together can deepen your connection and make even simple moments feel special.
💙 Check in with yourself and your partner everyday with support from The Daily Calm’s guided session on Mindfulness.
Dating during the holidays FAQs
How soon is too soon to introduce a new partner to family during the holidays?
Deciding when to introduce a new partner to your family during the holidays is deeply personal, and there’s no strict rule or playbook to follow. It depends on the level of comfort and commitment in your relationship and, to put it simply, if you want to. If you’ve just started dating, it might feel premature to bring them to a family gathering. On the other hand, if your connection feels solid and both of you are ready, it could be a meaningful step forward.
It’s important to have an open conversation with your partner about how they feel before making any decisions. Consider the dynamics of your family as well — some families are more relaxed about meeting new partners, while others might see it as a significant milestone.
The key is to make sure both of you feel comfortable and supported, no matter the decision. If the timing doesn’t feel right this year, that’s okay — there’s always the next holiday season.
What are appropriate gift-giving guidelines for a new relationship during the holiday season?
Gift-giving in a new relationship can feel tricky. You want to show you care without going overboard. A good rule of thumb is to keep it simple and thoughtful. Instead of focusing on the price tag, choose something that reflects your budding connection. For example, you could give a small item related to their hobbies, a gift basket of their favorite snacks, or even a heartfelt card expressing how much you’re enjoying getting to know them.
If you’re unsure what’s appropriate, it’s perfectly fine to have a lighthearted conversation about gift expectations. They might feel the same way and appreciate setting a mutual understanding. Remember, it’s the thought that counts, and putting effort into something small but meaningful will go a long way.
How can couples manage differing holiday traditions and expectations?
When you’re in a new relationship, blending traditions can be both exciting and challenging. The key to navigating this is communication. Take time to talk about the traditions that are most meaningful to each of you. Maybe your partner loves their family’s annual game night, while you’re used to a quiet evening with close friends. By sharing these details, you can better understand each other’s expectations and make compromises when necessary.
You might decide to split the day between both traditions or alternate who you spend the holiday with each year. You could also create new traditions as a couple, blending elements from both of your lives. The goal is to approach this with curiosity and flexibility, respecting each other’s preferences without feeling pressured to fit everything in.
What are effective ways to handle holiday-related stress in a new relationship?
The holidays can be stressful for anyone, regardless of relationship status. But when you’re in a new relationship, new types of stressors can find their way in. To manage these, start by recognizing that the holidays don’t have to be perfect. Set realistic expectations for yourself and your partner, and don’t be afraid to prioritize what matters most to you both.
Take breaks when needed. Sometimes, the best way to handle the holiday hustle is to step away from it. Spend a quiet evening together, enjoy a low-pressure date, or simply take a walk to clear your heads (here are 20 more ways to take a mindful break). Open communication is also crucial. If something is causing stress, talk about it honestly. By addressing concerns together, you can support each other and find solutions as a team.
Remember to be patient with yourselves and each other. Everyone processes stress differently, and giving each other grace during this busy time can help maintain a positive connection.
How can mindfulness practices specifically benefit couples during the holidays?
Mindfulness can be a game-changer for couples navigating the busy holiday season. By focusing on the present moment, mindfulness helps reduce stress and anxiety, making it easier to enjoy time together. Instead of worrying about how everything should go, mindfulness encourages you to embrace what’s happening now — whether it’s a quiet evening decorating a tree or a shared laugh over a holiday mishap.
Practicing mindfulness can also improve your communication and deepen your emotional connection. When you’re present, you’re better able to listen and respond to your partner without distractions or judgment. This creates a safe and supportive space where both of you feel valued.
To bring mindfulness into your relationship, try simple practices like slowing down during conversations, taking a few deep breaths before tackling holiday tasks, or pausing to express gratitude for each other. These small, intentional moments can help you feel more grounded and connected, turning the holiday season into a time of joy and growth. If you want more ideas, check out these 10 mindfulness practices to build into your daily routine.
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