How to mend a broken heart: 8 steps to heal and recover

Relationships

Jul 23

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA

Heartbreak is painful, but there are ways to cope and feel better. Learn how to mend a broken heart and support yourself through the recovery process.

Heartbreak is one of the most painful emotional experiences we face—but healing is possible. If you're wondering how to heal a broken heart or how to get over heartbreak, you're not alone. Heartache doesn't always come from a split. It can follow unrequited love, rejection, losing someone you love, or the end of a close friendship. However your heartache showed up, working through it can help you move forward with more compassion and clarity.

Once you know why heartache can feel so painful, you can then recognize and understand the different stages of heartbreak. Here's a look at why heartbreak hurts the way it does, the emotions you can expect along the way, and steps that can support your recovery. You’ll know the emotions and feelings you can expect, plus how you can move through your journey with more self-compassion and self-awareness.

Why are heartbreaks painful?

On a biological level, our bodies sometimes react to heartbreak in a similar way to how it responds to physical pain. Our brain may perceive heartbreak as emotional pain, and it may respond by releasing stress hormones, like cortisol. These hormones can cause physical symptoms, such as a tight or heavy chest, trouble sleeping, or appetite loss.

Psychologically, heartbreak can bring a mix of emotions, like sadness, loss, and even grief. We might also battle feelings of inadequacy or face a dip in our self-esteem. When we’re broken-hearted, we're not just losing a person but also the dreams, plans, and future we envisioned. The loss spans multiple levels, making it a complex emotional challenge to overcome.

When you acknowledge the real effects heartbreak has on your wellbeing, you can pave the way for healing and recovery.

What is broken heart syndrome?

“Broken heart syndrome,” also known as takotsubo cardiomyopathy, is a temporary heart condition triggered by intense emotional or physical stress, like losing a loved one or experiencing a major shock. It is thought that a sudden surge of stress hormones, like adrenaline, lead to these changes.

It causes symptoms similar to a heart attack, such as chest pain and shortness of breath, but it doesn’t result from blocked arteries. Instead, the heart’s left ventricle temporarily weakens and changes shape. The condition is usually reversible with proper treatment, but it highlights the powerful connection between emotional health and physical wellbeing.

Common causes of heartbreak

Heartbreak can follow all kinds of loss. Any time you're deeply attached to a person, a hope, or a future, losing it can leave the same ache. Some sources of heartbreak get less sympathy than others, but the hurt is just as real. Here's a look at some of the common ones.

A breakup: Losing a partner can upend your routines, your plans, and your sense of who you are, which is part of why it cuts so deep. If a breakup is behind your heartache, our full guide on how to get over a breakup covers moving forward step by step.

Unrequited love: Caring for someone who doesn't feel the same way can wear on you for months, even if the two of you were never together. The hope and the letdown are real, and so is the grief when you finally let the idea go.

Romantic rejection: Being turned down stings whether it's a first date that goes nowhere or a spark that fades before it becomes anything. Rejection can bruise your sense of self, not just your plans.

Losing someone to death: Grief can break your heart in the most literal sense. The pain often comes in waves rather than a straight line, and it can catch you off guard long after the loss.

Family estrangement: Cutting ties with a parent or sibling, or having them cut ties with you, can feel like mourning someone who's still alive. The ache tends to resurface around holidays and milestones.

The end of a friendship: A close friend drifting away, or a falling-out that can't be repaired, can hurt as much as any romance. Because you don't expect a friendship to end, the loss can blindside you.

Deep disappointment: A job you didn't get, a move that fell through, or a future you pictured that won't happen can all leave a real sting. This kind of loss often gets brushed off, but the sadness that follows is heartbreak all the same, no relationship required.

How to cope with a heartbreak: 8 tips to navigate a broken heart

Tending to a broken heart takes patience and a willingness to be gentle with yourself. The path can feel lonely at times, so don't be afraid to seek support, whether that's from loved ones, a professional, or your own mindfulness and self-care practices. With time and care, you can come through it stronger and more self-aware.

1. Allow yourself to grieve

Embrace your feelings of heartache. It's okay to feel sad, angry, or any other emotion that arises. Acknowledge them without judgment, since they're part of the healing process. Writing things down can help you make sense of what you feel.

Try: journaling with a prompt like "what is this pain teaching me?"

💙 Understand the importance of grief in Why Grief, Why Now with Joanne Cacciatore, PhD.

2. Seek support to help you cope

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Consider talking to a therapist who can provide professional advice on how to navigate heartache.

💙 Learn why Mindful Friendships are crucial in the heartbreak healing process.

3. Practice self-care

Rest, good food, and movement all support your physical wellbeing, which in turn supports your emotional wellbeing. Do your best to sleep, eat well, and make time for things that bring you joy and peace . Caring for your body helps rebuild your energy while you heal.

💙 Rebuild your love of self with Self-Compassion, a brief meditation by Tamara Levitt.

4. Rebuild a steady daily routine

Heartbreak can throw your normal rhythm out the window, especially when the loss reshapes your day-to-day life. Small anchors help. Try to wake and sleep around the same times, eat regular meals, and keep a few standing plans on the calendar. A predictable structure gives your mind less room to spiral and reminds your body that ordinary life is still going while you heal.

5. Set boundaries while you heal

When your heartbreak involves someone you might still see or feel pulled to contact, some distance can protect your healing. That could be an ex, a friend after a falling-out, a family member you're taking space from, or someone whose feelings never matched yours. Cutting or limiting communication is often wise, even when part of you wants to stay looped in. If your heartache is from a breakup, that space also makes it easier to date again when you're ready.

💙 Protect your peace and learn to set Healthy Boundaries with Jeff Warren.

6. Focus on your goals and dreams

Channel your energy toward pursuing your goals. Whether it’s picking up a hobby, advancing in your career, or exploring a new interest, keep your focus on positive growth.

💙 Uncover The Why Behind Your Goals with Jay Shetty.

7. Practice mindfulness techniques

Engage in mindfulness practices like meditation, breathing exercises, and journaling to help you settle into your new reality. These techniques can help you stay connected with yourself, process your emotions, and rest.

💙 Practice mindfulness before bed in this Evening Wind Down routine.

8. Remind yourself that healing takes time

Be patient with yourself as you heal. When you're dealing with heartache, it helps to take things one day at a time and stay compassionate with yourself. Everyone's process looks different.

💙 Combat restlessness during your healing journey with this 10-minute meditation on Patience.

How to mend a broken heart FAQs

How can I heal a broken heart?

Healing a broken heart takes time, self-care, and patience. Start by allowing yourself to feel your emotions without judgment—it’s truly okay to grieve. Next, surround yourself with supportive friends or loved ones who listen and uplift you. Focus on activities that bring joy or relaxation, like exercising, pursuing hobbies, or practicing mindfulness. Journaling or speaking with a therapist can help you process your feelings and gain clarity. Remember, healing isn’t linear, but by prioritizing your wellbeing and staying open to growth, you’ll gradually move forward and eventually find peace.

How long does it take to heal a broken heart?

Healing a broken heart is a personal process. There's no fixed timeline for healing emotional pain, as it depends on things like the depth of the relationship, your personal coping skills, and the support system you have. It's important to allow yourself the time you need to heal. Engage in self-care practices, seek support from loved ones or professionals, and be patient with your progress. Over time, the pain will lessen, and you'll find yourself moving forward.

What are the 4 stages of healing a broken heart?

While the stages of recovering from heartbreak can vary, they tend to mirror the stages of grief. A simplified model includes four: denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. Each one is a different emotional response to the loss, and moving through them is part of reaching acceptance and healing. It's a path that can help you work through your emotions, come to terms with your new reality, and find a way to move forward.

How do you get over a broken heart when you still love them?

Heartache is especially hard when you still care about the person, whether that's an ex, someone who never felt the same way, or a person you've had to step away from. Healing takes acceptance, self-compassion, and often a shift in perspective. Start by accepting the reality of the situation, then surround yourself with supportive people who understand what you're going through. Engage in activities that promote self-growth and happiness. Over time, focusing on your own wellbeing and building a fulfilling life can help you heal.

How to get over heartbreak quickly and move on?

Healing quickly isn't always possible, but a few things can ease the process. If your heartache involves someone you're still in contact with, some distance helps, whether that's an ex, a friend, or a family member. Avoid dwelling on the past, and stay active with hobbies or social time. Focus on your personal goals and emotional wellbeing to gently shift your attention forward.

How to cure a broken heart naturally?

While there’s no instant cure for a broken heart, natural healing comes from gentle self-care and emotional support. Focus on practices like journaling, meditating, spending time in nature, and talking to loved ones. Reducing stress and reconnecting with things that bring you peace can help you gradually feel better and rebuild your emotional resilience.

Can grief and heartbreak feel the same?

Yes. Losing someone to death can break your heart in much the same way the end of a relationship does, and your body may respond with the same stress hormones and physical aches. The grief that follows a death often comes in waves rather than a straight line, and it can catch you off guard months later. Be patient with yourself, lean on people who can sit with you in it, and consider talking to a therapist or a grief support group if the weight feels like too much to carry alone. There's no timeline you're supposed to hit.

Why does losing a friend hurt so much?

Losing a close friend can hurt as much as a romantic breakup, partly because you don't expect friendships to end. Whether a friend drifts away or a falling-out can't be repaired, the loss is real and deserves the same care you'd give any heartbreak. Let yourself grieve it, talk about it with people you trust, and give the feelings time to settle rather than rushing to explain them away.

How can I mend this broken heart and feel whole again?

To mend a broken heart, start by allowing yourself to feel your emotions fully. Then, gradually nurture your inner world through self-reflection, creative outlets, healthy routines, and support from trusted friends or therapists. With time and care, you'll feel more grounded and whole again.

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Calm Editorial Team